It's Never All Bad

Previous Weight = 302.8     Current Weight = 302.8

I know what you're thinking, or at least I think I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Get off the stick lady, we want some action here!" Either that, or you're thinking that I'm incapable of losing this weight. Okay, I can see that and understand your frustration with me. I'm not showing any progress at all, yet I am.

The two other times that I lost weight (more than 100 lbs. each time) I did so for other people and in drastic ways. The first time, I was on Optifast, which was a 26 week program where I drank their drink supplement (YUCK! It was terrible!) 5 times a day for 13 week with no other food and then slowly began adding food and reducing the supplement drinks over the final 13 weeks.  I lost 125 lbs. in 26 weeks!  Great!! Except, the first disaster that came I went right back to my old, comforting habits.  When I gained it back, I gained an extra 50 lbs.  The second time, I lost 108 lbs. over 1 year, counting every calorie and working out more than 365 days in a row. At the next disaster, you guessed it, right back to the old, comforting ways. Well, 3 is the charm and I'm not doing any of that this time around.  Believe me, there were lasting negative effects of losing more than a person off my body in 26 weeks.  I was better the second time around, but this time has to be for good. There are 3 things that are very important to the process:

Meal Portions - Physical Activity - Water

I have to make my food intake adequate for good nutrition without over feeding myself; get physical activity into my day, every day; drink lots of water!

The food needs to power me so that I have the energy to get walking and the water is needed to carry all the nastiness out of me. On top of this, I want to eat a better quality diet. I still have this need to chew, but I think my best bet for making that work for me is making sure I have fresh fruit and vegetables around that I can grab and chew by just the handful. Also, I have planned this week to eat 3 meals and 3 snacks.  This will help keep my blood sugar level more consistent and hopefully I will be less hungry all of the time. It will be a struggle to keep my hands off my families cookies and snacks, but I know I can do it. I'm so tired of being fat!

It's a new week! I'm still here, so I'll keep working. Next week, I'll let you know how it worked eating 3 meals and 3 snacks, being physical everyday and drinking water. I wish you the best with whatever challenge you are facing in your life. I hope you wish for me the same. Until next week, just remember, cupcakes and not your friend!

Could Chewing Be The Problem?

Previous Weight = 302.2     Current Weight = 302.2

This week at least, was a wash. I didn't gain, but I didn't lose anything either. As it was a stressful time at work, I am thankful for this result. Most of the time I'm a thankful person. The more of life I experience, the more calm and relieved I am about it and the future. I know that I will lose this weight, someday.

There are a few factors that are ever present in this process that are causing me some issues. First, I'm hungry all of the time. Lately, when I have that desire to eat I've been asking myself (silently, mind you), "Is my stomach growling or is it that I need to chew?" There is a huge difference between stomach and head hunger. I want to make sure I'm really stomach hungry before I eat. The reason being, I think I have a 'need to chew' issue going on. It seems like when I'm bored, stressed out or unhappy, I want to chew something. It is probably related to the issue I have when I sleep; one of 'clenching' my teeth. I clench my teeth so severely that I've cracked all of the enamel on my teeth. I now wear a dental prosthesis at night to prevent further damage. I have been known to clench my teeth so hard that on nights where I didn't have the guard, I awoke with a HUGE headache that encompassed my entire head and face! To me, clenching is like chewing only you never let go and I seem to be compelled to do it, even in my sleep.

My stomach has to shrink so that I'm satisfied with less food, but I also have to combat the need to chew. I've read about chewing gum to help, but this presents issues, as well. Because of the clenching, I've cause some damage to my jaw. Chewing gum just aggravates the damage and causes my jaw to click. The clicking causes pain and well, it isn't good. So, I can't satisfy the desire to chew with chewing, even just gum. I need a different strategy.

In the coming week, I'll be working on a plan of action for reducing the size of my portions, while satisfying the desire to chew. I've thought of wearing my dental prosthesis so that I cannot eat, but I'm not sure how I feel about that. It does impair my speech, so I couldn't really use it at work. I'll give an update next week of what I tried, what worked and what didn't. I'm still positive I will get to my destination. The journey just may take a bit longer than I had hoped. No problem! As long as I'm working to make progress I'm still alive. Thanks for dropping in to visit. Until next week, wave "Hello" to the cupcakes and then please, step away!

I'm a Yoyo

Previous Weight:  300.8        Current Weight:  302.2

Did you ever play with a yoyo when you were a kid? Had I known they would represent me one day, I'd have worked harder to develop better skill! There comes a time when all the crazy ideas one has have to be set aside in favor of more proven methods. This is fast becoming one of those times. First of all, I'm so sick of seeing .8 and .2 on my scale; I could just scream! I work better in whole numbers, but in this new world of total 'accuracy' I guess I have to be happy with fractions. I don't want to be weight obsessed, but at the same time, this is slowly killing me. So, it's time to move on to proven strategies.

This week, here is what will happen:

1. When I make my dinner plate each evening this week, I'll immediately take half of it and place it into a container for lunch the next day.
2. Lunch will be the half of dinner from the night before, plus some fruit.
3. Breakfast will be Spoon Sized Shredded Wheat with milk and blueberries, each day.
4. Snacks will be a glass of buttermilk and popcorn, if needed.

I eat too much volume of food. Besides that, I don't seem to be able to keep myself from eating bread. It's so delicious! When I'm at the store buying food for the week, I don't seem to be able to stop myself from picking up tons of bread. This week, I purchased: 2 loaves of bakery french bread, 1 bakery sourdough loaf, 1 bakery rustic french loaf and 1 packaged sourdough sandwich loaf. That's 5 loaves of bread for 3 people! That's not counting what I already had in the refrigerator (some hotdog buns and a bit of leftover french bread). I think I make the mental excuse that my family needs bread, when It's really ME who wants the bread and ME who is buying the bread and Ahem...ME who is eating the bread. The scales prove it. Okay, so since I can't seem to stop myself so, what do I do? It does have to be here for my family, but since dinner is also lunch the next day, I need to plan dinners that do not contain much bread and leave the bread to the family for breakfast and lunch. The shredded wheat I have for breakfast sort of satisfies my 'bread' need, a bit. I guess I love carbohydrates! The funny thing is, I can't ever go onto a low carbohydrate diet or try to avoid them. That was the first thing my doctor warned me away from after I lost my left kidney to cancer. Apparently, the high-protein nature of diets like Adkins, is bad for people like me. Protein is hard on the kidneys and with only one left, we have to take good care of her!

Everyone has issues they need to resolve. I have a weight problem along with other physical issues. Yes, I'm a cancer survivor. You'd be surprised at the number of us there are out here! When people hear 'cancer', they look at me as if they are thinking, "So, when are you dying?" Believe me, I wish I knew! Maybe the knowledge would put all of the issues I face into perspective, but then again, it might just petrify me enough to make me totally ineffective as a human being. No, I don't want to know. God's got my back, no matter how bad I am at carrying out his wishes. He knows I'm only human, but He made an amazing thing when he made me the unique person that I am. Oh, and by the way, He made you the same amazing person, only different. I guess I mean that God made each person amazingly unique and the infinite variety is what makes life grand.

So, this week is a bit more simple:

Eat Less -- Limit Bread -- Continue Moving

I'm always better when I have a plan. In fact the more I'm able to put a plan into pictures the better the results are in the end. I can visualize things more easily with pictures. Here is what a successful day might look like next week:

Nice breakfast with one meal splitting between lunch and dinner.

I have to shrink my stomach so that it will stop talking to me so much about being hungry. I am drinking lots more water these days, but I'm still always hungry. I will keep the snacks to a minimum and have some extra fruit to add to the half-meal at breakfast and even dinner if I need it. Maybe this will work for me. We know that eating less and moving more is the key, but I'm still hungry, at least I think I am. Maybe it's my mind that needs dealing with. Hmmm...maybe....Anyway, that is what we'll be doing in the coming week.

Thanks for stopping by and checking in on what I'm up to over here. If you are working on something in your life that you want to change let me know in the comments below. You never know when someone out there in the world may have just the answer you need! In fact, you might have the suggestion I need to turn my experience around. Regardless of what you think, comment below and let the world know your ideas. Until next time when I'll share the results of this little plan, watch out for incoming cupcakes and just say, NO!

One Pound, Heat, Scones and Other Excuses

Previous Weight: 301.8  Current Weight:  300.8

One pound lost is okay! I'll surely take it, but can you say, "Excuses?" I can! and I have lots of them. It's hot! Yep, thats my excuse for not exercising. Thanks for allowing me my moment of useless excuse making. I need to exercise and I really believe my losses would be greater if I got moving (not to mention that I'd feel better, too). Listen carefully, you may never read this again: I love exercise! Why is it so hard to fit it into my day? If I wait to the end of my day, I'm pooped and it's too hot to go outside, which is where I'd prefer to be (not that I have to be there). I'm too busy mid-day with work and I'm a wimp in the morning. I think I'm going to have to reorganize my day and do the exercise in the morning before work or anything else I might be thinking of doing. Then it will be done! Just like with anything else, do the hard part first and the rest of the day will be a breeze. I don't relish this idea, as I rather prefer waking up slowly, but I've got to exercise. So, the target for the upcoming week is: treadmill. Every morning before I shower, 15 minutes of treadmill work with 15 minutes of weight bearing exercise (i.e. squats, push ups off the counter, light dumbbells and etc.) I'm convinced that if I can just get the exercise in religiously, I'll be on the right track.

Last week I was not feeling too well. I think I ate something that did not agree with me and my stomach was a mess almost the whole week. I'm better now, but no more eating out for a while. I only ate out one meal, but the results were not good. On top of that, I had cravings by the end of the week that resulted in me making a batch of scones. Have I said how much I love bread of any kind? Yes, bread is my nemesis! Hard to think of bread as a goddess of retribution, but it is my downfall. I simply can't resist bread. So, I have to make it possible to have it, but bread is going into that food category known as "Sometime Foods." You know them, baked goods, rich foods, fried anything and etc. They ALL are together in that group. I can have them, but really only once in a while. The last time I made scones must have been over a year ago, so not bad! Just don't eat too many!

Besides getting the exercise in, I want to eat a next week a diet rich in fruits and vegetables. The summer fruit is so delicious. I have some Berries that will likely find their way into some smoothies and I've got some lovely Nectarines that will just be added to a few breakfasts. I picked up some Baby Aubergines and Grape Tomatoes and will be making something out of that, too. Oh, and fish!! I've got some lovely Tilapia in the freezer for Tuesday. Tuesday at my house used to be salad night, but we're turning it into fish night instead.  I believe we'll have a lovely Cucumber Salad with the baked Tilapia. So the supper menu at my house this week will be the following:

Sunday (Big Show Night) - Mini Meatloaves w/Mashed Potatoes and Broccolini
Monday (Sandwich Night) - Classic Club Sandwiches and Tomato Soup
Tuesday (Fish Night) - Baked Tilapia w/Cucumber Salad
Wednesday (Pizza Night) - Pepperoni Pizza (Mine is a Pizza Omelet w/lots of veggies, a dab of sauce, pre crisped pepperoni, a pinch of italian seasonings and just a sprinkle of grated cheese)
Thursday (Old Classic Night) - Turkey Divan
Friday (Burger Night) - Cheeseburgers and French Fries (my burger is less the bun and I substitute a steamed vegetable for the fries)
Saturday (Chef's Choice Night) - It's a Mystery until Saturday arrives and the chef figures out what she wants!

By planning the meals out ahead of time, I'm more likely to stay on track and have foods that I really like. Also, it is keeping my grocery shopping budget a bit more in line with where it should be. Groceries are so expensive and I don't want to waste food if it can be avoided. By planning out the meals like this, I keep myself organized, the family knows what to expect and since I know we need something to cover things like "Pizza Night" each week, I can think creatively and try to use items I have on hand instead of just buying new ingredients each week.  For instance, Pizza doesn't have to be a round piece of dough, topped and baked in the oven. It can be Pizza Burgers or like above a Pizza Omelet! Eggs are a great vehicle for many dish makeovers!!

That's it for this week. I hope you have a great week ahead and I'm looking forward to seeing how my morning exercise plan works. Please join me next week to see the results of this plan. Until then, just remember that any cupcakes who show up trying to make you believe they are the "LAST" cupcake on earth; they LIE!! Just say, NO! and Please step away from the cupcake!!

What "Not Trying" Gets You

Previous weight: 299.8     Current weight:  301.8

If I ever write a book, I'm sure there will be a chapter in it titled, "Don't Let This Happen To You!" If I could play a tune here to illustrate how I felt when I looked down at the scale this morning, it would sound like this (Thanks to a5e26 on YouTube for the perfect sound effect!):

Back in 2008, I would have been mortified by the numbers you see above, but this time around, I'm not. This is a temporary set back. I didn't even try hard last week and the results are proof of that, but let's examine this more closely.

Two weeks ago, I weighed 305.8. I'm still down 4 lbs. from two weeks ago and I'm not dead! That means I get another chance to get this all going in the right direction. Faced with what I have here, this week will be a bit different. I'm more interested in getting the exercise right, because I know that the physical fitness aspect is what will improve my stamina, lift my spirits and make it possible for me to do more physically. With more physical activity in general, I'll build more muscle and in turn, burn more fat. I would like to make certain I am getting in just 15 minutes each day this week and extra if I am up to getting it in there. Each week I'll add more. When I began this process all those years ago in 2008, I started in February with just calorie restriction. It took me until late in April, to even begin exercising! I believe that was really backwards of me. I need to get the exercise going and reduce portions, but not eliminate foods like I did before. I may not eliminate foods as I did before, but there are some that will need to have their freedoms severely curtailed!

It's pretty clear that food distracts me from exercise and I want it to be the other way round. I have planned food for this week that can be supported by the good old crock pot (maybe this will keep me somewhat out of the kitchen). At the moment I have a fresh ham (Pork Sirloin Roast) in one crock with a dry rub that will eventually be Pulled Pork and the second crock will be started at mid-day with Double Garlic, Ginger Lime Chicken. I'll be able to have this meat with vegetables, while the boys will probably mainly eat it with bread and such. I can have it on top of salads or with hot vegetables on the side. I also purchased some frozen single servings of Tilapia Fish that I can pull out in a pinch to lighten my meal.

Breakfast is a challenge. I love bread, but I know this is one of those things that I need to reduce to a very small portion. Bread has been a go-to item for breakfast for me, but doesn't fill me up. I need something that will serve me well for breakfast and stop me from being so hungry. It may end up being a small portion of the meat and vegetables, but I'll get some oatmeal in there on a couple of days, too.

Lunch is easy Wednesday through Friday, as I work from home. For Monday and Tuesday this week, I'll prep the meals today (Sunday) and get that out of the way. This way I won't have to think about it. For snack this week I'm eating yogurt and fruit or a cheese stick and grape tomatoes. Beverage is still mainly water, but I have found water enhancers and I'm enjoying squirting a bit of them every now and then, just for flavor fun!

That's it for this week. A bit of disappointment, but not a disaster. I would love to be able to say I've not gained weight, but the reality is that I have and probably will again. I am what God made! I don't have the genes of a small, thin Japanese woman. I have the genes of my strong, healthy German/Irish forefathers! I will NEVER be thin. In fact, I don't even want to be 'thin'! What I want is to be normal; normal for Nancy. What I do to make that happen is what's important. So, until next week when I hope to show things traveling in the right direction, I promise...no cupcakes!!

The Game is On

Previous Weight: 305.2   Current Weight: 299.8

Over the years I've learned much about myself (you know, as you do) and nothing is more true about me than the fact that I love a good game. In fact, many a challenge has been successfully won by just turning the work to overcome it into a game. Last week was that for me. The challenge:  Eat Healthy on $27 US$ for one week. It became a game for me and I proved that is indeed possible to eat very healthfully on a very small grocery budget. The challenge of the week took lots of planning to achieve, but was proved to be completely achievable. To read about the details of the challenge, be sure to check out the update on my HumbleVoyager blog.

Pictures to update how I look seem unnecessary at the moment. With a 6 lb. loss, which is great and I'm thankful for it, I don't believe I look strikingly different. I'll provide an updated photo when I've lost at least 20 lbs. That means a new picture will be provided when I weigh 285.2 or less.

The week taught me so much. I am strong, but I have my weaknesses. First, I am a person who loves food. I will always be challenged by it, but there are ways for me to come out on top if I just remember a few things:

• I'm in charge of food and not the other way round.
• I can eat whatever I want, as long as I remember that food is fuel. (i.e. extra fuel=extra work!)
• I can achieve my goals without counting calories!

The most interesting thing about the week was the challenge. For me, it got very hard on Friday evening (day 6 of the 7 day challenge). I became very tired of eating the same foods and no meat. My energy and spirits were low, but a kind friend invited me to dinner that night which really lifted me up, besides providing me with a little meat. The dinner was substantial and I was able to come home with leftovers that fed me for supper Saturday night, as well. So, ending the challenge successfully.

In the upcoming week, I'm planning to eat meals that are based on foods I really enjoy. The point to this week is to eat what I really desire, but in portions that are supported by my level of activity. I'm depending on my strong desire to achieve success of losing this weight to keep me honest and the fact that I will document what I'm doing here. Yes, you're helping me keep to the right path.

So, until next Sunday when I'll share about my level of success, have a great week!

A Long, Long Time Ago...

Nancy after losing 107 lbs.
weight here? 189 lbs.
I started at 296 lbs.

I can still remember when I started the HumbleVoyager blog, to journal about my journey to fitness. It was February, 2008. Over the year following that month, I lost 107 lbs. The past 5 years there have been ups and downs and in the weight department, mostly ups. It is now time to embark on the final time (I hope) that I'll be working to get this right. The HumbleVoyager blog has moved on to cover other interests in my life and so this new blog, will be my new weekly journal of what it's like to be 55 years old and working to remove an entire person from my body!

The blog posts are going to be weekly. With this I will say that life is what happens when I was planning to do something else, though. So, please understand that there may be times when I cannot provide an update. I write daily on other blogs, but this will be where I update the world (transparency is important for keeping me honest) on how I'm doing. The blog posts will generally contain:

• The current weight compared to the previous week's weight
• Weekly challenges and solutions
• Updated pictures
• What I've learned in the past week
• Anything that might be interesting to know about the voyage

Me today at 305.2 lbs.
Such a shame, but not for long!
Please stick around for more!!
I'm ready to be done with this!!

I'm really excited to be on this journey, even though I'm repeating myself again. It has taken me a long time to get to the point where I'm ready to conquer my demons. Last time around I learned a lot about myself and this time I will do things a bit differently.

If you're interested in the other things I'm writing about, please visit my other blog, at www.humblevoyager.com where I write about all things Nancy, share fiction I've written, recipes and more!

In my next posting I'll share the plan of action for the next month and update the record on what I've been doing this week. Until then, remember to Please Step Away From The Cupcake and make it a great day!!