It's Never All Bad

Previous Weight = 302.8     Current Weight = 302.8

I know what you're thinking, or at least I think I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Get off the stick lady, we want some action here!" Either that, or you're thinking that I'm incapable of losing this weight. Okay, I can see that and understand your frustration with me. I'm not showing any progress at all, yet I am.

The two other times that I lost weight (more than 100 lbs. each time) I did so for other people and in drastic ways. The first time, I was on Optifast, which was a 26 week program where I drank their drink supplement (YUCK! It was terrible!) 5 times a day for 13 week with no other food and then slowly began adding food and reducing the supplement drinks over the final 13 weeks.  I lost 125 lbs. in 26 weeks!  Great!! Except, the first disaster that came I went right back to my old, comforting habits.  When I gained it back, I gained an extra 50 lbs.  The second time, I lost 108 lbs. over 1 year, counting every calorie and working out more than 365 days in a row. At the next disaster, you guessed it, right back to the old, comforting ways. Well, 3 is the charm and I'm not doing any of that this time around.  Believe me, there were lasting negative effects of losing more than a person off my body in 26 weeks.  I was better the second time around, but this time has to be for good. There are 3 things that are very important to the process:

Meal Portions - Physical Activity - Water

I have to make my food intake adequate for good nutrition without over feeding myself; get physical activity into my day, every day; drink lots of water!

The food needs to power me so that I have the energy to get walking and the water is needed to carry all the nastiness out of me. On top of this, I want to eat a better quality diet. I still have this need to chew, but I think my best bet for making that work for me is making sure I have fresh fruit and vegetables around that I can grab and chew by just the handful. Also, I have planned this week to eat 3 meals and 3 snacks.  This will help keep my blood sugar level more consistent and hopefully I will be less hungry all of the time. It will be a struggle to keep my hands off my families cookies and snacks, but I know I can do it. I'm so tired of being fat!

It's a new week! I'm still here, so I'll keep working. Next week, I'll let you know how it worked eating 3 meals and 3 snacks, being physical everyday and drinking water. I wish you the best with whatever challenge you are facing in your life. I hope you wish for me the same. Until next week, just remember, cupcakes and not your friend!

Could Chewing Be The Problem?

Previous Weight = 302.2     Current Weight = 302.2

This week at least, was a wash. I didn't gain, but I didn't lose anything either. As it was a stressful time at work, I am thankful for this result. Most of the time I'm a thankful person. The more of life I experience, the more calm and relieved I am about it and the future. I know that I will lose this weight, someday.

There are a few factors that are ever present in this process that are causing me some issues. First, I'm hungry all of the time. Lately, when I have that desire to eat I've been asking myself (silently, mind you), "Is my stomach growling or is it that I need to chew?" There is a huge difference between stomach and head hunger. I want to make sure I'm really stomach hungry before I eat. The reason being, I think I have a 'need to chew' issue going on. It seems like when I'm bored, stressed out or unhappy, I want to chew something. It is probably related to the issue I have when I sleep; one of 'clenching' my teeth. I clench my teeth so severely that I've cracked all of the enamel on my teeth. I now wear a dental prosthesis at night to prevent further damage. I have been known to clench my teeth so hard that on nights where I didn't have the guard, I awoke with a HUGE headache that encompassed my entire head and face! To me, clenching is like chewing only you never let go and I seem to be compelled to do it, even in my sleep.

My stomach has to shrink so that I'm satisfied with less food, but I also have to combat the need to chew. I've read about chewing gum to help, but this presents issues, as well. Because of the clenching, I've cause some damage to my jaw. Chewing gum just aggravates the damage and causes my jaw to click. The clicking causes pain and well, it isn't good. So, I can't satisfy the desire to chew with chewing, even just gum. I need a different strategy.

In the coming week, I'll be working on a plan of action for reducing the size of my portions, while satisfying the desire to chew. I've thought of wearing my dental prosthesis so that I cannot eat, but I'm not sure how I feel about that. It does impair my speech, so I couldn't really use it at work. I'll give an update next week of what I tried, what worked and what didn't. I'm still positive I will get to my destination. The journey just may take a bit longer than I had hoped. No problem! As long as I'm working to make progress I'm still alive. Thanks for dropping in to visit. Until next week, wave "Hello" to the cupcakes and then please, step away!

I'm a Yoyo

Previous Weight:  300.8        Current Weight:  302.2

Did you ever play with a yoyo when you were a kid? Had I known they would represent me one day, I'd have worked harder to develop better skill! There comes a time when all the crazy ideas one has have to be set aside in favor of more proven methods. This is fast becoming one of those times. First of all, I'm so sick of seeing .8 and .2 on my scale; I could just scream! I work better in whole numbers, but in this new world of total 'accuracy' I guess I have to be happy with fractions. I don't want to be weight obsessed, but at the same time, this is slowly killing me. So, it's time to move on to proven strategies.

This week, here is what will happen:

1. When I make my dinner plate each evening this week, I'll immediately take half of it and place it into a container for lunch the next day.
2. Lunch will be the half of dinner from the night before, plus some fruit.
3. Breakfast will be Spoon Sized Shredded Wheat with milk and blueberries, each day.
4. Snacks will be a glass of buttermilk and popcorn, if needed.

I eat too much volume of food. Besides that, I don't seem to be able to keep myself from eating bread. It's so delicious! When I'm at the store buying food for the week, I don't seem to be able to stop myself from picking up tons of bread. This week, I purchased: 2 loaves of bakery french bread, 1 bakery sourdough loaf, 1 bakery rustic french loaf and 1 packaged sourdough sandwich loaf. That's 5 loaves of bread for 3 people! That's not counting what I already had in the refrigerator (some hotdog buns and a bit of leftover french bread). I think I make the mental excuse that my family needs bread, when It's really ME who wants the bread and ME who is buying the bread and Ahem...ME who is eating the bread. The scales prove it. Okay, so since I can't seem to stop myself so, what do I do? It does have to be here for my family, but since dinner is also lunch the next day, I need to plan dinners that do not contain much bread and leave the bread to the family for breakfast and lunch. The shredded wheat I have for breakfast sort of satisfies my 'bread' need, a bit. I guess I love carbohydrates! The funny thing is, I can't ever go onto a low carbohydrate diet or try to avoid them. That was the first thing my doctor warned me away from after I lost my left kidney to cancer. Apparently, the high-protein nature of diets like Adkins, is bad for people like me. Protein is hard on the kidneys and with only one left, we have to take good care of her!

Everyone has issues they need to resolve. I have a weight problem along with other physical issues. Yes, I'm a cancer survivor. You'd be surprised at the number of us there are out here! When people hear 'cancer', they look at me as if they are thinking, "So, when are you dying?" Believe me, I wish I knew! Maybe the knowledge would put all of the issues I face into perspective, but then again, it might just petrify me enough to make me totally ineffective as a human being. No, I don't want to know. God's got my back, no matter how bad I am at carrying out his wishes. He knows I'm only human, but He made an amazing thing when he made me the unique person that I am. Oh, and by the way, He made you the same amazing person, only different. I guess I mean that God made each person amazingly unique and the infinite variety is what makes life grand.

So, this week is a bit more simple:

Eat Less -- Limit Bread -- Continue Moving

I'm always better when I have a plan. In fact the more I'm able to put a plan into pictures the better the results are in the end. I can visualize things more easily with pictures. Here is what a successful day might look like next week:

Nice breakfast with one meal splitting between lunch and dinner.

I have to shrink my stomach so that it will stop talking to me so much about being hungry. I am drinking lots more water these days, but I'm still always hungry. I will keep the snacks to a minimum and have some extra fruit to add to the half-meal at breakfast and even dinner if I need it. Maybe this will work for me. We know that eating less and moving more is the key, but I'm still hungry, at least I think I am. Maybe it's my mind that needs dealing with. Hmmm...maybe....Anyway, that is what we'll be doing in the coming week.

Thanks for stopping by and checking in on what I'm up to over here. If you are working on something in your life that you want to change let me know in the comments below. You never know when someone out there in the world may have just the answer you need! In fact, you might have the suggestion I need to turn my experience around. Regardless of what you think, comment below and let the world know your ideas. Until next time when I'll share the results of this little plan, watch out for incoming cupcakes and just say, NO!